22 Self-Care and Self-Love Tips for Moms (who also homeschool)
- New Mommy Life
- Jul 26, 2023
- 32 min read
Updated: Sep 2, 2023
Whenever I hear the word self-care or self-love and any of the cute sayings of: “self-care Saturday’ or “self-love Sundays” it always provides me with a moment to pause and reflect on ways I may be allowing myself to become distracted and neglect my personal self-care.
Self-care has been a bit of a struggle for me, as a woman ( who later became a mom ) as I was not given much guidance in this department. If anything, the modeled behavior path I found myself on was one being sacrificial and self-OVER giving and putting others needs before my own. I grew up with a mom who always out herself on the back burner to ensure that everyone else was taken care of, their needs were met and they were happy – even at the expense of herself.
As you can probably tell, this led me to begin to follow what I was shown in behavior which was the foundation that I found myself making terribly neglectful decisions, self-sabotage and extremely unhealthy people pleasing.
Today, I am proud to say that I have done the (inner) work of releasing the trauma bondings and letting it all go, so that I am fully immersing myself into daily self-care that is not just practiced once a cute hashtag day ( i.e. #selflovesaturday or #selfcaresunday ).
Here are my best 22 self-care and self-love tips and advice for moms to help inspire, encourage and motivate you to do the same, mama!
Navigate to where you want to go:
Get your body in motion ( movement is life )
Take a Relaxing Bath ( My Literal Life Line )
Stay Hydrated ( so all that energy has a clear path to flow )
Breathwork and Meditation ( bonus: sound baths )
Journaling ( allow your heart to speak freely )
Treat yourself ( Dark Chocolate is My Favorite )
Get a Massage ( in-home massages are amazing )
Spend Quality time with family
Attend an event ( local is Ideal )
Join a Group ( learn something new like a language or a musical instrument )
Go to a Live Music Concert ( allow the energy of music to flow through you )
Go Dancing ( again, allow the energy of music to flow through you )
Go on a Retreat (
Limit multi-tasking ( it depletes our brain's focus energy )
Do something you really wanna do ( just for the sake of doing it - have fun! And let your hair down! )
Allow yourself to just BE ( because you deserve to feel at ease )
Go grocery shopping ( and allow yourself to taste all the samples )
Get Lost in a Good book
Attend the Opera, Ballet or the Local Symphony
Pay it Forward ( giving back from your over-glow and over-flow )
Slow down ( you get there faster when you do )
Practice more gratitude and intention ( the power of prayer is real )
1. Get Your Body In Motion ( Movement is Life )
Whenever I begin to think about movement, it's something that my body craves and whenever I feel stagnant or my energy is low or I am feeling bloated ( perhaps it might be that time of the month ) or I just feel like I'm experiencing more brain frog than usual, that's usually my cue that I need to get my body in motion.
What works best for me has been keeping a schedule that feels good so that I can be consistent, yet not feeling that I'm putting a huge amount of pressure onto myself because I have found that rigid schedules just do not work for me. I've never been the type of woman to wake up at 4:00 a.m. or 5:00 a.m. for a workout.
I don't do intense workouts as it is, and studies have shown that working out longer than 45 minutes can contribute to inflammation. I've never been the type of girl who's a "gym rat" and I've never been the type of woman who can overload myself so much with a workout schedule/routine and then later feel bad or guilt myself for not doing more than what I'm able to do, none of those high intensity workouts work for me, so my best recommendation would be to just figure out a schedule that is realistic and what works for you and that you can commit to doing weekly.
I personally take off the week when I'm on my cycle, as my energy is low and I typically have a lot of emotions moving through me so I don't do anything super intense other than going for a daily walk and making sure I'm getting some fresh air and sunshine.
On the weeks when I'm not on my cycle, I really enjoy yoga and pilates. One of my favorite yoga content producers and yogi guide is Yoga upload ( Maris Aylward), I have been watching her religiously for years since the beginning of when I started my YouTube channel back in the day, and it's been great to have access to so many videos that I can literally open up my laptop inn the morning and just get into flow.
I don't have to worry about driving anywhere, parking, talking myself out of it, finding something to wear, or coming up with a thousand other excuses as to why I didn't go to class. So for me, being able to workout at home has really made all the difference in me being able to stay committed to a routine that feels good and it's also yielding some pretty amazing results, if I do so myself.
Maris Aylward ( Yoga Upload ) also has a personal website where she offers a two week free trial to start, if you would like to have something on a monthly basis that you can access different routines and yoga flows. I personally have purchased a few of her downloadable videos so when I'm on the go or if I don't have access to the internet, I can still have a really good workout.
I noticed that consistent movement really helps to elevate my mood and it helps me distress. It also gives me a really nice beautiful glow to my skin because as I'm walking around and working up a little bit of a sweat it feels really good when I get back home, I can take a nice hot shower or a bath and just have this beautiful glow because I got my blood flow moving. Weekly movement is something that's really important that I encourage you to incorporate into your schedule even if it's only walking around the neighborhood for 15 to 20 minutes.
Yoga Upload's YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@YogaUpload
Buy a gift card for a ( mom ) friend in need (https://www.yogauploadplus.com/gift_cards/new )
Don't know what to wear? or in need of a workout fit up-level?
While we're in the movement conversation, I know first hand one of the "excuses" I've used in the past has been "I don't have anything to wear" -- well, you can't use that as an excuse either since Mindful Fee ( founded by another amazing mama Felicia La Tour ) is launching their "Motherhood is a Sport" athleisure line on 7/29/23 - mark your calendars.
Mindful Fee Website:
Mindful Fee's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulfee/
2. Take a Relaxing Bath ( My Literal Life Line )
Now that you've got your body in motion and worked up a lil sweat, taking a relaxing bath is my go-to (for those who know me) baths are my lifeline -- literally. I cannot imagine living in a world where I would not be able to take a bath and if you listen to any of the episodes of my podcast, New Mommy Revelations,
I speak often about how I believe I was a mermaid in a previous life ( or perhaps I am also half mermaid today). I will literally disappear for hours and hours on end in the tub and every time I come up for air ( if you will, LOL ) I feel so revitalized, so refreshed and so renewed and my energy is just completely at full capacity.
I just feel so much more at ease after I've taken a nice long relaxing hot bath (that's darn near cold when I'm done).
One item that I always have to have with me are candles. Now, I have tried candles from all over, from every retailer online and offline that you can imagine, so I'm always on the lookout for another fabulous candle to try because I don't like to use overhead lighting whenever I take a bath as I prefer to bathe exclusively in candlelight.
I have really been loving my new forvr mood candles. I must say, I am very sensitive to sense and smells so I have to be very careful, and for the most part I usually aim for unscented candles since I usually will use either natural aromatherapy diffuser with lavender essential oil or perhaps some incense, however sometimes if I'm able to find a nice candle that has a lovely scent -- that's not too strong, off putting or overwhelming for me I happy to give it a try.
I have found that the forvr mood blends are really a beautiful mixture and contain just the right amount of scent and it's not too much for me. I allow my candles to burn for about 30-minutes or so after my bath is over and the forvr mood candles really have the entire bathroom smelling ultra-ultra luxurious.
I love the soft packaging and the beauty of the candle while it's lit, it just adds that extra layer of richness and it's really helps me to relax.
Side note: I'll even stare momentarily at the burning candle flame ( as it dances and flickers ) since it helps me calm my mind, ground my thoughts and re-focus on my breathing. I'll even recite an affirmation or sometimes I'll just allow God to speak to my heart while I remain in a receptive mode to listen, so having a candle in the bathtub with me is an absolute must for my daily luxury self-care bath.
Forvr Mood's Website: https://forvrmood.com/
Forvr Mood's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forvrmood/
3. Stay Hydrated ( so all that energy has a clear path to flow )
Staying hydrated -- and I cannot stress this enough, if you're not hydrated it will impact everything else in your day. If your body is just way too dense with a lot of stagnant energy, it can't flow anywhere because there's no hydration ( water ) to help the energy move and so for me I have found that having coconut water, as well as making my own at home alkaline water ( which is fresh lime juice and some sea salt. )
I also have really been enjoying the LMNT electrolyte drink mix. These are great for when I'm on the go or if I've just come back in from a workout, I even like to have a little bit of it in the morning before I have anything to eat, to hydrate my body because we lose a lot of water when we sleep so it's really important to hydrate at the beginning of your day.
Also, I wanna mention that whenever I make my at home option, I make sure to use room temperature water only for my fresh lime juice and sea salt blend and also for the LMNT electrolyte mixture. However, the coconut water I prefer it to be cold as ice during -- even Frozen, because it's just so refreshing that way.
I notice when I'm properly hydrated I'm less cranky, have less cravings and I just feel more energetic, at the same time at ease, and I just feel like I'm able to just have more free flow within my day with clearer thoughts and my movement ( how I said before about being in motion ) and part of that, of course, is remaining hydrated and that's a huge staple in my self- care routine.
4. Breathwork and Meditation ( Bonus: Sound Baths )
One thing I've also been loving a lot these days is taking more time to practice meditation and I've recently been incorporating breath work. Another self-care indulgence are sound baths and I have found some really great resources online that you can just watch some playlist on YouTube, however if you would like to have a more personal or custom experience, which I highly recommend you do ( if your local to or visiting San Diego, CA ) check out a Deep Space™, it's a beautiful healing space and it's located in one of the cutest and quaintest parts of San Diego ( Kensington ). I am personally enrolled in an online business building offer that the founder Lindsey facilitates and it's been nothing short of amazing.
If you're local to ( or visiting ) Los Angeles, CA I highly recommend Shakti Sound Bath with Ana Netanel
( short story: I used to volunteer years ago and was able to enjoy a sound bath afterwards ).
Though I haven't been to an in-person sound bath is while, however I do have plans to get back into it, I've just been kind of in this pocket of where online offers work better for me right now.
There is so much beauty in the transformative magic that comes from attending sound baths for me.
After a meditation session, breath work or sound bath I just feel so relaxed afterwards -- sometimes I can be a little emotional as well, especially if I've been dealing with things that have been really heavy or there's just been a lot of things in my heart that I have been working on releasing, I found that the "washing away" and energetic cleansing that happens during a sound bath is so soothing, calming and healing.
Every time I take a break in attending them in person, whenever I get back into it, I'm just like "oh my gosh why did I stop? -- I have to keep this going!" It has become such a staple in my self-care routine that I am most definitely going to continue with this practice for years and years to come and I highly recommend you give it a try as well and see what your results are.
Local or Visiting San Diego, CA?
A Deep Space™ Website: https://www.adeepspace.co/
A Deep Space™ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adeepspace.co/
Local or Visiting Los Angeles, CA?
Shakti Sound Bath Website: http://www.shaktisoundbath.com/
Shakti Sound Bath ( Ana's ) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ananetanel/?hl=en
5. JOURNALING ( allowing your heart to speak freely )
I love to journal and that's really my first love ( and what I considered myself to be more than anything ) is a writer. Writing things down really helps me to get clarity in my thoughts because sometimes my mind can literally be racing all over the place and I can feel chaotic and/or frustrated with a cluster of energy when I have so many things that are on my mind and sometimes it can be difficult for me to articulate my words verbally, so I have found solace, a refuge and a place of peace in my journals.
Having said that, my journals are very sacred to me, they're very precious and they're very special.
I always have one nearby because if I'm ever feeling any form of anxiety or even if I am receiving a "divine download" of an idea, it's nice to be able to write it out and bring the thought into life ( like giving birth to the thought ) by way of writing it down on paper.
Journaling is a process that is very very healing for me and so I would highly recommend that you begin to integrate this into part of your self-care routine and let me know how it works for you.
6. Treat Yourself ( Dark Chocolate is My Favorite )
Treating myself (although yes, we have to have limit) in terms of keeping ourselves from going off over into the deep end, if you will, I do like to treat myself every now and again -- especially if I'm on my cycle.
I personally crave dark chocolate like nothing else and I don't like to feel like I'm keeping myself from experiencing joy, pleasure and bliss and so dark chocolate takes me to all three places. So treating yourself to something lovely, delicious and decadent and really enjoying it, like really savoring it.
One thing I love to do is place a small piece of the dark chocolate ( or whatever your favorite treat is )
and I will literally allow the chocolate to just melt in my mouth and breathe.
I don't allow anything else to cloud my mind, I don't allow anything else to get me to rush, I just enjoy the moment and the beauty and the taste of this delicious chocolate in my mouth and I really allow myself to experience that pleasure and just to remain in it as long as possible.
I feel like that's a big part of treating myself, it's not just accessing the food ( and whatever that may be for you) however thoroughly and fully allowing yourself to enjoy it and the entire process it provides.
7. Get a Massage ( in-home Massages are Amazing! )
Keeping up with an entire household and a homeschool schedule, it can be difficult to get away, therfore my next suggestion would be get a monthly massage. We have so much tension in our bodies especially as moms because we are literally carrying the future on our shoulders and our hips ( if you will ) so I highly suggest you get into a massage routine, even if you are pregnant or trying to conceive, or perhaps while in your postpartum/fourth trimester and even as your baby grows and your children grow up and they enroll in school or if you homeschool like we do, wherever you are in life, take time to get a monthly massage by a professional that can really work out all the kinks, help your body with lymphatic drainage and keep those muscles relaxed by working out any tension to keep your blood flowing.
Furthermore, it's really wonderful to allow someone else to come in and pour into you because we as mom's pour into so many other people, that it is just impossible to keep that up if we are not refilling our cups -- especially on a consistent basis. So I highly recommend getting a monthly massage. A company that is absolutely amazing is Blissful touch Body + Reflexology, they are a 24/7 -- and yes they provide services 24/7 around-the-clock, they are completely mobile and come to you in your home, your office, your hotel suite or your short-term rental be it a Sonder, Airbnb or a VRBO.
If you are on a staycation or if you are on a girls trip or a mommy getaway for the weekend, if you checked yourself into you know an Airbnb or a Sonder you can have them come to you.
Also, if you are working outside of the home even if it's part-time a full-time and you have the ability to have access to a private space or if you're employer offers that they can also come to your office as they also do offer corporate packages and wellness packages, so if you think it might be a good idea and other moms and the rest of your team could also benefit from some monthly relaxation I definitely highly recommend this company because they have really made all the difference with me personally to help me calm down and relax.
It's such a wonderful feeling that someone is actually ensuring that everything that you have been carrying around is going to be gently guided and removed and taken off of your plate ( energetically ) so that way you feel so much more at ease and energetically in a place to be able to show up as your best and be there for your family.
Blissful touch Body + Reflexology's Website:
( 24/7 intuitive bliss + bodywork artistry in the comfort of your home )
and/or
Visit: MyMassagePersonality.com to find out your unique personality style.
8. Spend Quality Time with Family
Often times we feel as if we’re being depleted because others are craving our time and energy ( am I the only one who feels this way? )
My next suggestion is spend time and I mean really good quality time with family. I know self-care can typically be more around things that you do for yourself, however I don't believe that a "man/woman is an island alone" like we are not meant to do life alone and so sometimes my form of self-care is putting things away that are not drawing me closer to being able to spend time with the ones I love most and so I highly recommend that you carve out some special quality time with family, because those memories are so precious and time go by so fast, and I don't personally ever want to look back with regret and wish that I had been able to do more with family.
So a big part of self-care for me is also understanding that my family is a priority and I definitely want to create more lasting memories so that I can look back at all the amazing things that we were able to do together and be full on how we have so much love to to share.
I recommend scheduling beach days, perhaps going to a local museum or an art show or a festival and even an amusement park -- those are always fun, even though, yes, they can be exhausting from walking around all day ( at the amusement park especially ) yet you get so many beautiful and cute photos and videos and you know it's like that pattern interrupt that we all need, right?
Blocking off the calendar, log off the internet, go off grid, get away from the work routine and just go out to have some fun, not keeping track of time and just really enjoying yourself and just enjoying each other's company.
Getting to know each other better, being in a fun environment, getting to share and experience that will provide you the ability to look back at for years and years to come.
9. Attend an Event ( local is Ideal )
Another self-care activity that I have found to be great is to attend local events. It could be a local Festival, it could be a meet up within your local mom groups, it could be within your other meetup groups. It's easier now more than ever to find some cool local events to connect with other like-minded families and other moms with children around the same ages as yours and it's really good to get into the habit of getting out yourself out there, connecting and showing your beautiful face within your community.
I actually have a few "Mommy and Me Events" coming up with one of them being our karaoke + live art party, if anyone is interested in joining you can RSVP and that way you can receive notification when tickets go on sale.
These type of live events are really fun because I love being able to curate events and being able to host while bringing families together -- especially if you have small children, as it can be difficult to find fun stuff that they can enjoy too.
I know it can be difficult because sometimes we as moms can feel like we don't know if they're going to be engaged or if you don't know if they're really going to enjoy themselves, and at the same time you don't want to be apart of something that you don't really like and find it becoming more of a chore that you dread.
Curating events for families so that everyone feels welcomed, special and like they're being catered to and what better way than to bring music, art and storytelling together while learning something new, being interactive, singing your favorite songs and enjoying some lovely bites and delicious beverages and just good ol' family fun that we can all come together laugh have a great time while creating memories that will last a lifetime.
I mentioned "pattern interrupt" earlier, and events are another great way of breaking up the monotony, getting out of the house and finding something that everyone in the family can be part of and enjoy.
Learn more about our upcoming events: http://newmommylifetv.com/ ( events )
10. Join a Group ( learn something new like a language or a musical instrument )
I would also suggest joining a group, meet-up groups have been great places to find and connect with a new community for me, in addition to Facebook groups, you can even do a Google Search and see if there's other resources local to you, that could be either online or offline. Although I do encourage you to also plan some offline events and not have everything digital, however do what works best for you and your family.
I recommend you do something new like learn a new language or even learn how to play a musical instrument -- even if just a hobby, not that you have plans to become a professional, yet something you can have in your back pocket to kind of showcase during family get togethers or if you do plan on traveling out of the country and visiting a new place, it'd be kind of fun to know some conversation starters with people in their native language, not to mention you being able to read some of the street signs around you, things like that, so I think it's really fun to learn new things and learning a new language or learning how to a play musical instrument is really cool.
I'll leave a link here to some of my resources as well as my 90-day start-up class for those of you who might be interested in learning how to play the ukulele. It's a really fun instrument, it's a lot smaller than the guitar so it's not like heavy or bulky and you can carry it with you multiple places, plus it has a cute beautiful sound to it, that just livens up any family gathering, like I said before, you don't have to dedicate your life to be coming a professional that plays at Carnegie Hall, as an example, however you can definitely learn a couple songs that you can play during family gatherings.
Once I decided to do both of those things, I really had a bunch of doors open up for us and it's provided a lot of excitement as well, because it keeps my brain active in a different way, it gives me something to do so that I don't always feel like I have to be producing something tangible for business or anything and at the same time it's also a great conversation starter, as I've met so many amazing people because I took the time to start learning a new language and also getting myself out there more with my musical passions, because most people didn't even know I played musical instruments.
I encourage you to do the same thing, find something you love, even if it was an old hobby or an old past time of yours from childhood, I encourage you to get back into those things and don't let the love of those things fade away.
Here are some of my recommendations of learning a new language:
and learning how to play musical instrument
I Love Ukulele ( YouTube Channel ):
11. Go to a Live Music Concert ( allow the energy of the music to flow through you )
Speaking of music, how about going to an actual live music concert and finding something that is an alignment with what you love to listen to.
I personally love smooth jazz music and sultry musical artists, so those are my favorite go-to so definitely find something local in your area, be it from your mom groups online or some friends that you gals can all get together and plan a night out and listen to some beautiful live music.
It can be an activity for the entire family or if you decide to have like a "mom night out" or "mom night off", go get around some beautiful energy with live music, check out some of the local venues near you inn your city and go have fun -- it is so good for the heart and it's so nurturing for the soul.
12. Go Dancing! ( again, allow the energy of the music to flow through you )
Which brings me to dancing while you're out at the live music event, bring your dancing shoes with you to get out on the dance floor and just "Dance like nobody's watching" as the quote says.
I personally love to line dance. It's a great workout too.
So go out and let your hair down, have some fun, bring your loved ones with you and just allow yourself to get in the flow of movement and feel the energy of the music and basks in the blessing of being alive!
13. Go on a Retreat ( allow yourself to be watered and nurtured from within )
Go on a retreat! I cannot say this enough, I have not been on a retreat in about 5 years, yet, oh my goodness my body and my heart are craving one and I know the time is drawing near because retreats have been on my mind and it just so happens that a Deep Space™ that I spoke about before, is also hosting upcoming Reprogramming Retreats, so that's how I know that the time is now.
I encourage all of you to go on a retreat at least once every couple of years, if you're not able to go on one once a year, it is such a divine feminine reset for everything you have going on in life, to really be in a space of having a holistic support of a team pouring into you, is the biggest aspect of it that benefits me. Especially as a homeschool mom, we hardly ever have anyone waiting on us hand and foot, and it is such a necessary feminine energy reset that I cannot recommend enough.
Retreats are so helpful for me to reset my mind, my energy and my frequency. Afterwards, I remember having a better perspective about things in life and so how I spoke before about getting a monthly massage and having you know another professional helping to work out all the muscle soreness or any energetic blockages you may have stored in your neck as we carry a lot of stress in those areas.
A retreat is like a massage, in my book, yet times a thousand because it's not just your body that's being loved and nurtured. Your mind, your heart, your soul and your energy -- your physical body is being nurtured from the beautiful lovely food that's being served plus curated activities that are being specially planned to ensure that you're really doing the inner work and rapidly healing at a faster pace.
If you were to attempt to do this on your own, you would be trying to carve out time in between meetings or in between bath time. as a mom you're always trying to carve out an extra 30 minutes for yourself in the morning or you're trying to stay up an extra 20 minutes at night and listen to your meditation app. Like those things work, at the same time it's nothing like going on a complete 360 immersive retreat experience for yourself.
So I highly recommend you check out some of A Deep Space's™ upcoming retreats.
Going on a retreat is seriously one of the best investments you can make for yourself, mama and I highly encourage that you make that investment into yourself -- you're so worth it!
Learn more about A Deep Space™ Reprogramming Retreats here: https://www.adeepspace.co/retreats
14. Limit Multi-Tasking ( it depletes our brain's focus energy )
I came across a stat that said: Our brains take approximately 24 minutes to refocus in between tasks.
This one here may come across as nothing to do with self-care, yet at the same time when I read the stat that it takes about 24 minutes for our brains to refocus when we switch tasks, that was really alarming for me because I was a self-proclaimed multi-tasking queen and yet I know as mom's we have been made to have the ability of being able to focus on more than one thing because it's so innate for us to be managing multiple things.
I mean, when we're expecting our baby our body is going through so much and then when the baby is finally here, now you're literally responsible for keeping this tiny little human alive, well and whole and so you're constantly in a state of doing multiple things at once and your bodies do it so effortlessly. As women are highly adaptable by nature.
So, I'm definitely not saying it's a bad thing, at the same time it can, in my opinion, cause more harm than good if we overuse it too much or if we're using it from a place of just feeling like we are always scarce with time and always feeling we're not doing enough and guilting ourselves into always feeing like we have to keep over giving.
Which is where a lot of our energy can be blocked, become stagnant and we can become irritable whenever our energy is low and we're tired from being pulled in so many places at once.
Plus, the fact that I'm not being as intentional with my time and so for me a big part of self-care has been dedicated to the slowing down and limiting the multi-tasking, so for instance as I'm writing this blog post, I literally just have some lovely Lo-Fi music playing in the background and all other tabs on my laptop are closed.
I cut everything off and 'm not going to do anything else right now. Typically in the past I would be trying to source content or trying to plan out meals for the week or trying to make a cup of coffee and listen to a podcast like I'll be trying to do so many things, that I'm not even enjoying the moment of what I'm doing which goes back into the treating yourself and really enjoying and allowing yourself to experience pleasure.
and so this also ties into that point because I found myself when I'm not multitasking and when I'm really focused, first of all I'm getting the work done quicker, I'm a lot more efficient and it just feels good to finally get that good dopamine hit of completion.
And I know for me, that I start to have a lot of anxiety if I've started a lot of projects but I'm not completing things because then I feel overwhelmed and then it becomes a cycle and then I start to feel guilty and then I start to get mad at myself and then I'm upset and it just goes on a downward spiral, so I highly recommend that you take some time this week mama and really do a deep dive and assess how you're spending your energy and how much focus you're giving to your tasks at hand and not overwhelming yourself by adding so much onto your plate, that you're constantly in multitasking mode and get more into the mode of completion, focus and finishing.
15. Do something you really wanna do ( just for the sake of doing it )
Doing something you really want to do and doing it just for the sake of doing it, like actually have fun and let your hair down.
I had recommended dancing and going to a live music concert, however whatever it is for you to do even if it's doing nothing, even if it's just going and laying out by the pool for 15 minutes, even if it's just I just want to lay on your yoga mat and look up at the ceiling (which I actually highly recommend because a coach of mine a couple years ago recommended that if we ever feel really intense stress and anxiety to just lay out on a soft blanket or a pillow and just look up at the ceiling because it helps our brains and our minds calm down and we look at things and from a different perspective).
I actually would like to take that step further and sometimes I'll do it inversion, so if you don't have like a professional chair or like one of those things where you can hang upside down, I will just lay on my bed and I'll scoot myself all the way up to where my head is hanging off the edge of the bed and just allowing the blood to flow to my brain and I'll just practice my breathing.
I'll do that for a few minutes (make sure you get up slowly so you don't get dizzy ) however that has been beneficial too. The biggest thing here is just do something you actually really want to do and just do it, not because you have to prove to someone else, not because you have to show a result, not because you have to take a picture of it and post about it on Instagram, just whatever you really want to do -- be like Nike and "just do it."
16. Allow yourself to just BE ( because you deserve to feel at ease )
Which takes me into my next point of just allowing yourself to BE, not because you have to accomplish something -- just because (shout out to Anita Baker).
Even if it that means sitting in a dark room with a candle lit ( how I mentioned what I do while I bathe in candlelight ) and again I recommend the forever mood candles because they have been really providing me with a lot extra of love and joy with their beautiful sense as of late, however any candle you decide or any form of relaxation will do.
I no longer allow myself to get caught up in 20,000 things on my checklist, if there's a day and time or even weeks that I need dedicated just "me time" and I need to shut off the world ( well, obviously I can't shut off everyone because I have a baby) yet I do understand that I can only be as good and I can only show up as my full self, as I allow myself to remain in the fullness of being.
And so for me, I just really embrace that and I'm no longer always being performative or showcasing.
I just allow myself to just be in the moment ,so if I'm really not feeling that I need to finish something because I'm pressuring myself to do it, then I know that it's probably not going to be my best and if I have to shut off my phone and close my laptop and just light a candle, lay down on a pillow in the bed and just breathe or take a nap and relax -- I vive myself full permission to do so and that has been so beneficial for my self-care.
17. Go Grocery Shopping ( and allow yourself to taste all the samples )
Going grocery shopping is actually really fun for me, I really enjoy it. One thing I will say for sure is, yes make a list and take it with you ( for obvious reasons ) however I allow myself explore the grocery store and just cruise down the aisles, taste all the samples ( if the store you go to offers them ).
I'll check out new things as I do like to look and learn about and see what else is out there on the market and maybe there's a different product out there that I might want to try. Give yourself some wiggle room to try new things and not be such a stickler about everything, like all meals have to be prepared only a certain way, like give yourself permission to try something new, like a baking recipe. Perhaps it won't be the way you traditionally do things, yet just allow yourself to have some fun in the kitchen.
I feel like that comes out of enjoying the entire process of cooking which also includes shopping for the food and so it's just nice to be able to look at all the beautiful colors in the produce aisle and the fresh herbs while seeing if there are any new healthy gluten-free snacks that are out there now, as I'm always looking in those areas because for the most part we're gluten-free.
Especially for the days we're more on the go and I'm not always able to pack everything as perfectly as I would like to, so sometimes being able to have access to things that are convenient are really nice. Plus being able to explore different options.
Another way that grocery shopping is enjoyable is by visit local farmer's markets and other places that have access to items the typical grocery store may not carry.
It's been really nice to be able to get out, explore and try new things. Not to mention being able to speak to the merchants, to the farmers, the manufacturers and many times to the founders or the owners as sometimes you can meet them in person, shake their hand, listen to their stories, get to know them, sample some of their products and just really allow yourself to have that full 360 immersive experience.
Food provides the information to our bodies, it nourishes our families and so it's really important for me to take my time to really get to learn more about the type of food that we are ingesting and putting into our bodies, because it is directly impacting and affecting how we show up everyday.
18. Get Lost in a Good Book ( allow your brain to relax and enjoy a story )
My next suggestion would be getting lost in a book, I myself am a self-proclaimed bookworm. For those of you who cannot get enough books or who need to have a whole new bedroom built in your home because you have so many ( that's me ). I have been loving Thrift Books where you can get access to most of your books, if not all, for a really good price.
A lot of them can be gently used, yet many are still in great condition and they won't break the bank because I know how buying a lot of books can add up and you don't want to feel like you're overspending either.
Books are meant to be enjoyed over your lifetime because they can be passed down from generation to generation, so it's not like you're not making a good investment into the lifelong love of learning and reading for your family.
At the same time we also want to be economical and be good to the planet.
Thrift Books has been my go-to since I found out about them I believe three or four years now. Of course, there's nothing like going into the bookstore like Barnes & Noble and being able to physically touch the books, sift through the chapters and then decide if the book is going to go home with you or not.
Then perhaps going over to the coffee shop inside and having a cup of coffee (or caffeine-free beverage) while reading a chapter as a preview to make up your mind.
I enjoy both, like if you know there's a specific book and you really want to get it and you don't really care if you get it that day, go ahead and order it online. However, if you do prefer to go in person ( which sometimes I do because sometimes I want the book right now ) because I've read such good reviews about it, I will physically get up and go into the bookstore and have that in-person experience.
It's also a nice little getaway, if you will, as Khynd loves playing in the theater area and she loves playing in the toy area too. We always get a new book for her to read as well, so it's a win-win little mini trip that it's also building educational resources of our library in our home and it just feels good.
Getting lost into a good book keeps your brain active and also just feeds into that creative aspect of your mind. I personally find reading so enjoyable because I'm reading someone else's mind and their thoughts and their creation and their story and I absolutely love that I'm able to do that.
19. Attend the Opera, Ballet or the local Symphony
Attending an opera or a ballet or even a local Symphony it is just one of the most relaxing beautiful things you can do.
The beauty of the artistry, the level of commitment, dedication and just the mastery within these disciplines.
It is all inspiring and so I don't even think I'm going to make this section very long here because it really speaks for itself. I highly recommend you go by yourself and then also take your family with you to attend a show. I suggest taking your children when they're a little bit older because I know it can be a little bit long for them to sit through an entire show.
Yet, again, I highly recommend you do it as often as you can, it is just some of the most beautiful pieces of art you will ever get to visually ( and auditory ) experience.
If you're visiting or live in San Diego, CA here are a few places I love:
La Jolla Symphony: https://www.ljsc.org/
San Diego Opera: https://www.sdopera.org/
San Diego Ballet: https://cityballet.org/
20. Pay it Forward ( giving back from your over-glow and over-flow )
This has become a popular trend around the holiday season, with buying the coffee for the car or even two cars behind you, while getting a cup of joe ( or other decaf beverage ). Being good to others is a mirror reflection of the goodness that is overflowing from within.
One good thing about self-care and self-awareness as well as just being more conscientious and understanding of the human condition, is how we are all interconnected. We are one. What we do to another, we do to ourselves.
And paying it forward is a big part of that and so I just encourage ( and hope ) this becomes a trending all year round.
Whatever fits your budget and whatever feels good in your heart, I firmly believe that being good to others is really a direct mirror reflection of the goodness that's overflowing from within.
And when we're good to ourselves we're going to naturally be good to others and that is a huge part of holistic self-care.
21. Slow Down ( you get there faster when you do )
This part here I've kind of touched on briefly, however, I wanted to dedicate a special part here to really drive it home.
Slowing down is a part of the process I spoke about before about allowing yourself to be, however slowing down is about really taking the time to be fully immersed into your task.
As an example, when I do my morning or my night time routine, I make sure to take the full one to two minutes to actually wash my face. Being very intentional as I wash in a circular motion and really massage my skin, really enjoy the scents and the smell of the essence, face cream etc.
If you dry brushing before take your bath, here's a great time to slow down and really love on yourself, to love on your curves and like recite love affirmations to yourself.
Saying something along the lines of: "I love my body", "I'm in the best shape of my life", "I love my curves", "I love my hips especially now that I've got a little bit more of them now that I've given birth" etc.
I take the time when I'm exfoliating my skin or while applying body lotion, body cream or shea butter. I know this can be difficult when things get hectic, as the first thing you want to do is hurry and try to rush yet as a mentor of mine said to me, " when we slow things down, we get there faster"
I encourage you all to slow down, especially during your self-care hygienic rituals and your hygienic routines just really take that time to enjoy because you're probably investing a lot of money into these products and it's really a shame that we're rushing to use them.
You deserve to enjoy the slow down process, be sure to breathe as you nourish your body, nourish your mind and nourish your heart.
22. Practice More Gratitude and Intention ( The power of Prayer is Real )
My thing of this year and forever is always going to be practicing more gratitude and intention the power of prayer is real and in my life I have seen this play out time and time again and I will continue to show gratitude and appreciation and thankfulness and have a lot more intention when I do because I know that there is a higher power and in my life I am just going to continue to give praise and gratitude.
We pray before every meal. Khynd and I have a special prayer that we recite at a special time every day.
I say prayers over myself while bathing, I say a personal while preparing our home cooked meals.
I pray whenever I'm outside in the backyard grounding. I'm constantly telling myself and reminding myself how truly blessed and provided for we are.
Life is never going to be perfect -- however, perfection is not the goal. The goal is to be in motion and to keep striving for a better outcome, to become a better woman and mom, for us to be in a better place in terms of our holistic understanding that we're all in this together and if we just share more gratitude and more appreciation and more love for one another,
Self-care will become more of an overflowing abundance that we can all indulge in and continue to share with each other as we are pour into ourselves.
Practicing more gratitude and intention has really made a huge difference in my life and I have witnessed countless miracles that have been birthed from this private practice of prayer time after time.
Self-Care and Self-Love are Deeply Personal and Intimate... I encourage you to find the path and routine that works best for you. Just as the seasons change, our self-care routines and schedules can change as well, therefore if you find yourself not having as much time or energy to dedicate towards one aspect of your self-care routine, that's okay, as long as you can fill that gap with other ways to invite self-love, joy and ease into your life that feels good to you and for you.
As we all know , we cannot pour from an empty glass. So go get replenished ( and keep yourself ) on full, Mamas!
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